K don't freak out...I know it's been a while. That last post was in a stressful time, and it was only the beginning!

I'm not sure how, but I'm doing great. I've got great supporters, even if I don't always let them get close, I feel their presence (you know who you are). I've got the best man in the world by my side through thick, thicker, thickest...and thin, thinner, thinnest! We were meant to be each others besties; he gets me, and loves me not despite of, but because of who I am, and I love him for the same.

Stories to come, I know I always say stuff like that, but I think blogging could be therapeutic if I let it be. Like a journal that you share :O)

Study...

Study, study, study...puke! Study, study, study...puke, study, study, study, study, study...puke, Breath?

Finding the New Post button

Ok now this is no excuse I know, but it honestly took me about 10 minutes to even figure out how to CONTINUE blogging! Dysfunctional?

This is going to be quick but if I don't tell the world, I'll sit here in my corner of Kearns feeling like nothing is ever going to get better.

I'm JOBLESS!!! Yes folks, I've lost my job, looked everywhere, can't find it, it's just gone! JK (it's a story not for everyone, I might tell you if you want to know.) But despite my joblessness, I'm trying to stay positive. I kind of feel like I've backed myself into an impossibly failure filled corner, and taking one step forward is like jumping off a cliff.

I have a plan. It's a good one...it just requires effort, which, if you know me, isn't one of my strongest attributes. I guess I'm a bit of a slacker, that's hard to admit. But when it comes to real life... like house payments, bills, the constant rising stress level of my sweet husband, the slack needs to be severly rained in! I'm not saying I don't try, I just don't try...you know? I have really pointless rebellion issues - I don't want to have to try, I want to be one of those intitlement people who just get everything with no effort and expect it that way forever.

No, that's absolutely not true, I loath those people. I at least take resposnibility for my slack. I know why I'm "here". It's just that getting out of "here" and back into good is going to take a little effort, and it's hard for me to change my habbits.

I need to be a little more focused, reach a small goal, and then another, and then eventually acheiving goals will be a habbit and I'll stop feeling like a failure. Dave told me the greatest quote yesterday that he heard from one of his bosses - "Failure is an event, not a person" This shall be my mantra. I am not a failure. I've just hit a little road block...time to find a detour, and ...well, for now all I have is time :O)

Love you all, don't worry - I'm ok

first blog...

I'm blogging... new huh?

It's going to be a slow beginning. I don't know what to say or what you want to know... what do you want to know? I want you to know that I'm here. Help me out family, you guys do this :O) JK I'm jumping on the blog wagon (better late than never?) so my peeps know what's going on with me. Love you all - Em Smith

p.s. the next blog will have info ... eh? eh? (nudge, nudge) so maybe that will intice you to come back